This is directed at the dogs, since most people have reasonably good telephone etiquette, unless you’ve ever attempted to resolve a problem with a large company’s customer support line. Do they call it a HOTline because it makes you see RED!!!!! when you are just trying to get resolution for your issue? Sorry, I digress. . . painful flashbacks.
To all Dogs: if you share an office with your owner, there are a few things to keep in mind. When he/she is on the phone, here is a list of DO’s and DON’Ts :
DO ease up on the water consumption while a call is in process. You never know how long it might last and you may feel the urge to break into the ‘tinkle dance’, accompanied by whining and yipping. While the advent of cell phones may make your predicament more workable, your owner MAY be immersed in taking notes or negotiating a big contract that could guarantee you bones for life. You don’t want to blow the deal.
DO be courteous when the doorbell rings to the ears on the other end of the phone and to the poor delivery person outside. Who knows, it might be your neighborhood Girl Scout and then, as they say, “No cookies for you!”. I know Fed Ex trucks just get your hackles up but stick a sock in your mouth and chase your tail until the adrenalin subsides.
DON’T get into fights with your housemates. It is never ideal but no time is worse than when your owner is on the phone. To the receiver, the sounds of gnashing teeth, growls, and faux-vicious barking makes him/her look like a cousin of Michael Vicks or a bad manager who can’t control his/her employees. Apologies aside, phone impressions are lasting.
DON’T think that because your owner is on the phone, their 6th sense will not kick in (or if it is a Mom, the eyes in the back of her head always open) and they will know if you are even THINKING of snitching schwag or tchotchke from their Promotional items bin. A certain Rottweiler was recently caught sneaking out of my office with toys meant to go overseas to military dogs stationed in Afghanistan. The boxes weren’t sealed yet and he mistakenly thought, while I was on the phone, that they were gifts for him. So they were sent on pre-slobbered, with reluctant Love from Dax.
And finally, DO continue to lay at their feet, looking sleepy and adorable. Nothing like a good head scratch while your owner chats away. Be alert to “Thank you for calling”, or “I’ll talk to you later”, as a warning that the head scratching will be over soon. When the phone does ring, consider it an opportunity to sidle up and get some extra attention. Soon, you’ll be so conditioned that the Fed Ex driver could park right in the office and you wouldn’t even bat an eyelash. Opportunity might knock for some, but it can Ring!! for you!
Next time we’ll cover: Squeaky toys in the workplace.
